Easy Come Easy Gaughin

Josh Brolin

Brolin’s been on quite a hot streak between No Country, W, Grindhouse, and Milk, and someone requested a reassessment based on this string of roles. He was close to the 70th percentile; this round of new roles jumps him almost halfway to 100, and over his dad. These two years promise great things for his immediate future.

Ten best roles: 10) Hollow Man 9) All the Rage 8) The Goonies 7) American Gangster 6) Slow Burn 5) Coastlines 4) Grindhouse 3) Milk 2) W 1) No Country for Old Men

Percentile rating: 85.49

Peak Period: 2007 – now

Neighborhood: James Caviezel, Maria de Madeiros, Angie Dickinson, Christopher Guest, Marcia Gaye Harden, Yaphet Kotto

Lisa Jane Persky

There’s this incredible radio show, The Best Show on WFMU with Tom Scharpling. You can hear it every week, on Tuesday nights from 8PM to 11PM east coast time, streamable at wfmu.org.

Associated with this great show (where you may hear me very occasionally as dave from knoxville) is a message board, friendsoftom.com, a sort of hosting site for the Scharpling (and Jon Wurster, who is featured on the show for 30 minutes to an hour almost every week) fan base. People who frequent this site, along with hundreds (maybe even thousands) of others who don’t have time to spend on a website self-identify as FOTs. This week, on a 6-hour marathon edition of the show, longtime character actor Lisa Jane Persky outed herself as a FOT.

She was charmingly self-deprecating, pointing out that IMDB-Pro had her ranked in the 13000’s in terms of current prominence in the film-making world. But she’s FOT, and that makes her first (OK, at least in a top tier) in many FOT’s hearts.

I have to admit, I did not know the name, but she’s had a long career of high-profile micro roles, along with a handful of bigger parts, and the minute you see her, I can almost guarantee you will realize you have seen  her in multiple films. In tribute to her, I am going to undertake a systematic march through her career highlights, pointing out the improvement each film contributes to her placement on this list.

The Great Santini (1979) – She plays little sister Mary Anne Meechum, a strong starting role in an important film. This puts her ahead of Jim Gaffigan, with a percentile score already of 14; in other words, if she had done only this film, her career achievement would be greater than 14% of all current working film actors.

Love in a Taxi (1981) – She’s Marian, it’s not great (or even good), but it jumps her ahead of Artie Lange, and she jumps up to 19.

The Cotton Club (1984) – Frances Flegenheimer, her part is tiny. Teensy, even. Still, it counts, and she’s jumped over Craig Kilborn, and she’s up to 20.

The Sure Thing (1985) – She’s Mary Ann Webster, she’s funny, and it’s a great movie, she jumps over Kandhi Alexander, and she’s now at 30.

The Big Easy (1987) – She plays Detective McCabe, she gets a generous number of screen minutes, it’s a very good movie, she’s ahead of Michael Chiklis, and she’s up to 38.

When Harry Met Sally (1989) – She’s Alice, and again, despite the presence of Billy Crystal, it’s a funny movie, she gets a handful of good lines, she moves ahead of DMX, and she’s up to 45.

The Last of the Finest (1990) – She’s Hariett Gross, it’s a small part in one of the 34 movies Brian Dennehy made in the 90’s that should have gone straight to video, but every little bit helps, she jumps over Chris Kattan, and she’s up to 47.

Coneheads (1993) – She plays Lisa Farber, opposite Jason Alexander, who plays her husband, it’s sort of a thankless role, but again, it’s something, she jumps Anthony Geary, and she’s up to 50. With just this set of film roles, she’s now the proud possesor of a film career better than that of half of all the film actors that are currently working. So her self-deprecating thing was way overplayed; she may be finding it tougher to be cast, but she’s got nothing to be ashamed of with this CV. And there’s still more!

Pontiac Moon (1994) – She’s Alicia Fran, a small part in a generic Ted Danson – Mary Steenburgen light romantic comedy, she jumps over Alyson Hannigan (and she didn’t even have to make a crude joke about a musical instrument to do it), and she’s up to 52.

Female Perversions (1996) – She’s Margot, it’s a small role in a film whose marketing campaign is entirely based on tittilation, she jumps over David Hasselhoff, and she’s up to 54.

Now, this system is based on an actor’s ten best roles, and that makes ten, so if any of her later roles top any of these, one of these will drop out, which makes it more difficult to jump up.

An American Rhapsody (2001) replaces The Cotton Club, she plays Patty, she jumps over Ricky Jay, and she settles in (since this is her last noteworthy film role) at 55.92.

Of course, none of this includes her prodigious TV work, and I’ve got to assume that she’s done stage work as well, since she’s been around for such a long time. So goodonya, Lisa Jane Persky, the FOT welcome you to the fold with open arms. Don’t be a stranger.

Ten best roles: 10) Love in a Taxi 9) The Last of the Finest 8) Female Perversions 7) Pontiac Moon 6) Coneheads 5) An American Rhapsody 4) The Sure Thing 3) The Big Easy 2) When Harry Met Sally 1) The Great Santini

Percentile rating: Like I said, 55.92

Peak period: 1989 – 1996

Neighborhood: Bruce Altman, James Cosmos, David Alan Grier, Jonathan Jackson, Ricky Jay, John Kapelos

Cloris Leachman

Still amazingly photogenic for a woman of her years, she’s a versatile actor whose highest profile parts were in comedies (particularly as Young Frankenstein’s fraulein,) but she could also effectively pull off dramatic roles. Internationally loved as TV’s Phyliss Lindstrom from the Mary Tyler Moore – Rhoda universe.

Ten best roles: 10) The Amati Girls 9) Dillinger 8) The North Avenue Irregulars 7) Love Hurts 6) Spanglish 5) Prancer 4) Kiss Me Deadly 3) Young Frankenstein 2) High Anxiety 1) The Last Picture Show

Percentile rating: 77.48

Peak Period: 1971-1979

Neighborhood: Ed Begley Jr, Ben Cross, Phillip Davis, Cliff Gorman, Luis Guzman, Emile Hirsch

Bernard le Coq

Star of French film and TV; I honestly don’t know a thing about him beyond the standard data set.

Ten best roles: 10) La Bulle 9) C’ Est Jamais Loin 8) La Taule 7) Cache 6) Il Faut Tuer Birgitt Haas 5) Du Soleil Plein Les Yeux 4) T’inquiete Pas Ca Se Soigne 3) Cesar and Rosalie 2) The Flower of Evil 1) Van Gogh

Percentile rating: 74.04

Peak Period: 1970 – 1981

Neighborhood: John Amos, Ray Barrett, Morris Chestnut, Ossie Davis, Matthias Habich, Gemma Jones

Martin Lawrence

Probably best known for his offscreen antics, which include multiple incidents of gun-brandishing, and a lapse into a coma following a leisurely jog through the streets of LA in 100 degree weather while wearing 4 or 5 sweat suits. Painfully unfunny “comedian”, he will probably be better remembered for those antics than for any of his cookie-cutter comedies. On a par with Pauly Shore, though commercially more successful.

Ten best roles: 10) Big Momma’s House 2 9) Black Knight 8) Bad Boys II 7) Rebound 6) Big Momma’s House 5) College Road Trip 4) Bad Boys 3) Nothing to Lose 2) Life 1) House Party

Percentile rating: 74.46

Peak Period: 2000 – 2006

Neighborhood: Veronica Cartwright, Paul Dooley, Daniel Giminez Cacho, Rosemary Harris, Bonnie Hunt, Regina King